Am I heartbroken or what?

She just wrote in her FB status she is in an open relationship with me and another guy. OMG!

I was ok when she wrote we were in an open relantionship. But now with me and another guy at the time... I'm bothered and I don't know how to react.

I guess it's a fullspoon of my own medicine. I pushed to much till this happened and hard to repair now.

I don't know how to feel about it. I encouraged her to date other people and wanted to do myself even.

The thing is I want to, I need to meet other people and have sex around and be open to nice human relations oportunities there might me out there.

Being in an open relationship is not having 2 open relationships at the same time. Or is it? Well, I guess it's ok to have it that way also. So let her enjoy naman.

I love her. Want to be best friends and do some activities together.

Guess now it's gonna be akward. We'll see.

The truth is I was getting suffocated with too much 24h together and the jealousness on her side. So I needed time alone and she never understood that. She's always frowned and I end up feeling upset coz I make her unhappy.

I regularly had the feeling I wasn't making her happy. Coz regularly she would be depressed thinking that her dreams of a future family and kids together would never happen.

And it's true I don't look forward to a regular formal life. I'm focused on business and career right now and those plans are not in my horizon.

So I think if we separate it will be better for her in the long term. She has the chance to find someone who will give her what she desires so much ever since.

I'm so sorry for her parents, who I love so much and back and they've taken me in from the beginning. I'm part of the family now. OMG, what to do?

Well. I just need some space and no pressure to think well.

What I need and always told her is a happy person who gives me constant happiness. With her I can get it and a while after I get a drama moment.

So it just doesn't fit in my life right now. When I have a drama moment I can't work properly coz the drama reduces my energy and concentration.

We have a lot of drama moments coz of jealousy or coz I need my personal time or coz I take a picture with fans.

I need those moments and pictures. I'm a public relations at our business. And as an actor I need to be very outgoing and socialize a lot, it's part of the job.

OK, sleep time. Lets see what tomorrow brings us. TY for listening :-)